The Art of Letting Go

I started practice yoga last April and enjoy it ever since. I have always been interested in its style and always thought that yoga is not just cool, healthy and relaxing, but chic as well. And to tell you the truth, one of my aim in practicing yoga is to do scorpion pose (picture above).

Not until...

I received the news that my yoga club has financial and management problem, and will probably closing down. I was shocked, since I was just started and start to enjoy it very much. In addition to that, I have paid a lump sum of one year membership which cost me RM 1688. It's all started when the club was taking a week break from all classes, saying they're changing management and stuff. And not just a week. They continue had problems later on, with ever changing class schedule and more problems. Later I discovered from one of my yoga instructor's blog that the management has financial problem and haven't paid full salary to their stuff and instructors for months. To make things worse, some of my foreigner instructors had been evicted out from their apartment and their pay-check bounced. And my reaction of course, Oh.My.God, this is one damn big problem.

I was not aware of any sign of problem when I signed up four months before. I was also not aware that the rumors has been spreading in Chinese newspaper and some of TV cover ups. They even had problems with Ah Long (loan sharks) and some of the outlet has been splashed with red paint.

Miraculously, I was not terrified and overreacted. It's amazing to see myself who was always in state of panic to stay calm and able to judge and think correctly. I decided to hold and see what will happen few weeks after thank God, the club has been ordered by court to change its management, and good to see that their website is back and class schedule has started again.

I wish the new management all the best in managing their new baby. I always hope that yoga can be one of the medium for Malaysian society to practice new healthy lifestyle in addition to the rapid growth of health center and gym. I am hoping I can start practicing back at their center and maintaining it. It is not easy for ones to start a new hobby and maintained practicing it. But I hope I've given a chance to try.

On a more personal note, I started learning Japanese seriously by myself after years of interrupted focus on it. I started picking up Japanese by myself (from books, manga, songs etc.) but never thought of learning seriously. You can feel some level of difficulty learning it especially the kanji (Chinese character) and understanding some of intermediate level of grammar, but it certainly give no problem at all to me since I am learning something that I very look forward to. I really hope I can pass the Japanese Language Proficiency Test (JLPT/Nihongo Nouryoku Shiken) Level 3 this December and able to pursue my grad studies in Japan next year.

I am also thinking of editing the layout of this blog to start a new feel about it, but my burdening workload would slow the process. Hope this works.

Have a good week, everyone:)

Still Kicking

Dear readers (if there's any),

It has been two long years since I post anything here in my site. It's not that I'm away, I'm still here, still breathing the same polluted air, the glaring at the same sun shine, and looking at the same shooting star as you people. I'm still here in the land of Kuala Lumpur, having fun, and currently sipping my favorite coffee at my very same desk two years back (except it's been a bit messy with files and rubbish). In other word, life has been the same, with few surprises and solaces, and here I am, still kicking the ass like tomorrow's never end.

And I do hope you guys have the same feeling in your life.

When I decided to start back writing and re-energize this blog, I am very sure that nobody is gonna read it. I am so surprised to see some of friend's comment in the past post, and dear God, I do love all my friends. Having friends shares the mutual feeling that you are currently be loved, and been taken care of, and of course that's the best feeling to keep you in sanity.

Some little update on what happen to me during two years of non-blogging drift away: I have fulfilled most of my new year's resolutions and the long wish list, I have started practicing yoga and pilates and loving every single minute of it, I went to Tokyo last year for visiting friend and vacation (besides realizing my travel dream), plus I'm now a proud owner of my own Macbook lappy and iPod. There's some setbacks came along the way, but after all life was good.

And recently, I've got an offer from Panasonic to pursue my graduate degree in Japan. And even more recent, I got feedback from one of my target professors in University of Tokyo that he is willing to accept me as student in his lab. Alhamdulillah God, all praises to Him.

Looking back at my unsuccessful attempt to go to UK last two years, how ironic to realize that God does listen to your prayers, chanting and what your heart speaks. Being a firm believer in God and destiny, I believe I am stronger now. Amin.

Back at Life

It's been almost a year when I start writing back at this blog. The reason of comeback? Its because I am feeling useless and unworthy. And don't ever ask me why I am feeling that way, because I don't even know the answer myself.

A lot of things happen within this period of month but I dare to say all unimportant. It's all office matters, some personal stuff not worth to mention and few periods of trauma and self-indulgence. Its all conclude to one word: tragedy. Sometimes I just thinking, what would my life be if my UK plan last year (yeah, I'm still can't get rid of it) goes well? I will be living in London, have a happy life (or vice versa who knows), party party after work, get laid every weekend, and yeah, it might simply leads to happy life. And thinking about it somehow makes me sick of myself, considering my current life and condition which eventually brings me to nowhere. I am stuck people, stuck within my unplanned life.

That is one of the things that I hate to happen in my life. Feel stuck, useless and unworthy. I have felt this feeling when I was in high school and I swear to myself not to feel it again, ever. Period.

I am still here fellas. Right here in Kuala Lumpur. My darling Kuala Lumpur. Yeah, it might sounds a bit ungrateful, but believe me God, I'm trying my best to show my gratefulness to You.

Was in an interview last two days in Damansara. Struggling for a post of Project Consultant in international environmental consulting firm. The interviewers are one Aussie chap and a partner who apparently is a lass from Britain. Great combination. The conversation went well even I was not feeling very well at that time, the minor flu. But until one moment when Greg, the Aussie chap, who happen to be my future boss, questioning about my level of English and suddenly I was struck.

Yeah folks, I have problem in English.

I am suck at conversation with native English speakers. I have no problem to start a chat with Malaysian or other Asian people, but when it comes to the whites, I am feeling a bit shy. Ermm, just call it reserved, not shy.

The diagnosis shows I have foreigners complexity. And that is why I am feeling this way.

Movie Goers: After This Our Exile

After This Our Exile
Originally uploaded by fid anuar.

When Aaron Kwok and Gouw Ian Iskandar won themselves a trophy for their role in this film, I told myself that I have to watch this piece. It's not just the matter of Aaron always gives great performance in every single role in his movie, but the fact that After This Our Exile has been filmed in Ipoh seduces me. I wonder what it is gonna be looked like. Does it sounds and looks like a Malaysian movie? Or maybe it just look similar to other Hong Kong movie?

Good piece does not come cheap. And not that easy too. What really piss me off was, why this so-called great movie (it won many awards I guess, so I refer it as a 'great movie'), and been filmed in Ipoh (which apparently is part of Malaysia), is only screened in one cinema in Klang Valley?! I have been to KLCC, Midvalley and 1Utama (major cinema centre in Klang Valley, I think everybody around this area watch their movie in the same venue), but up to my frustration, After This Our Exile can only be watched in Cathay Cineplex Damansara. And bloody hell, Cathay just screened it twice a day, one show at 1100 (for early birds) and the other one in the evening (of course I don't want to miss my favourite TV series just to watch this movie).

But finally, I've got the chance to watch it today (last day, because they finally made an afternoon show).

So how does it feel? Hmmm, a bit like Sepet (Yasmin Ahmad's second movie) because it has an 'Ipoh' feel to it. But believe me, After This Our Exile is more MALAYSIAN than ours! Why? It's not because any Malaysian stars like Amber Chia innit, but it feels so Malaysian (somehow Aaron Kwok presented himself like a real men from Ipoh!).Imagine this, an Indian guy get wasted in a kopitiam, yellow bus written with big 'BAS SEKOLAH', 'Pontianak Harum Sundal Malam 2' movie poster and soundtrack comprises of Sudirman, Siti Nurhaliza and Shima songs! What more Malaysian can you asked in a movie?

Apart from the Malaysiana feel, this movie consists of great, in fact very great casts. Aaron Kwok, as always, is terrific. He plays Ah Shing, a compulsive gambler who try his best to be a good dad, good husband and good cooker in a local restaurant. His unstoppable gambling habit makes her wife can't stand him anymore, and run to Johor Bharu with another guy, get married and have another baby. His son, Ah Boy, as other normal kids, always wants a happy family. Represent himself as a good son, Ah Boy tries as best as he could to please his father, even when his father teaches him to steal.

What makes this film so good is that, at the first quarter of this film, the audience will feel that the mom ruins the happy family. But as the story goes, somehow, it seems that nobody is to be blamed. What tear their family apart is fate. And that is why this movie is so ironic, you feel that every single roles responsible to what happened in Ah Shing's family, but at the same time, nobody is to be blamed for it because shit happens in our life and that is sucks.

In a nutshell, if this movie comes in VCD or DVD version, grab it. Not just because it is the only Hong Kong movie with Shima/Sudirman/Siti Nurhaliza songs innit, but because the fact that this movie is worth to watch.

Self Note: Life Starts at 23

Ahah, I'm finally start my career life. After strangled almost a year in messy Bartlett idea. Land myself a job at project management consultancy office. Basically my task involves the design of subsea pipelines, from the early stage till the final report. My company's client includes few major players in oil and gas industry. Located in KLCC, the Golden Triangle of Kuala Lumpur. Amazing location. The pay? Not much, but just enough to pamper myself a Paul Smith stuff at the end of every month haha (You know it's a joke). It's been my third days now. Commuting to office everyday by train somehow irritating. Well of course at first, it seems like a cool idea. But just entering third days, I am getting sick by train ride.

Up to my amazement, I meet few of my acquintances while riding to office. Gouramians (The Shell team, some of them based in Schlumberger HQ near my office), long-lost friend, my first love (getcha, I'm kiddin' here) and few others which is too boring to mention. And apart from all the sickness of train ride, meeting your old fellas is the bright side of it.

I'm not sure whether mentioning my company's name (which I am currently working at) is a good idea. Let it remain anonymous. Perhaps next time.

My cubicles stil not connected to internet (so, how in the earth I post this up? haha), but hopefully I could get access by today. Hopefully. Please Daniel*, please.

*Daniel is the IT guy in my company.