Eid Mubarak, Hari Raya Aidilfitri and Lebaran

(picture from my own collection, taken during Panasonic Orientation for new scholars, April 2009)

Two days before Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Or known globally as Eid or some called it Lebaran. I am not coming back to Malaysia and celebrate Eid there this year because I just feel that it is better for me to stay here since I already know the feeling of celebrating Eid back home. And back home, I come to realize that I am no longer have 'kampung' like I used to back in childhood days, since my grandmother of my mom side passed away few years back. And my grandmonther from my dad side is no longer stay in Johor, she's in KL now.

It has been a while since I feel any joy celebrating Raya. For me, every year, Raya turned out to be a simple celebration, our small family just celebrate it in KL and everyone knows what KL should look like during Raya days, empty and spacey. And ever since I celebrate it, for me Raya always has this sad image, depressed and melancholic songs (although there are cheerful Raya songs out there, but my mind always associate the feel of Raya with sorrowful feel). And for that I take it that I didn't really appreciate Raya as I supposed to 25 years back.

But I do have beautiful memories during Raya. They said Raya is for the kids, and I can't hardly argue that is so true. My childhood Raya memories was always look beautiful in my mind, the joy of balik kampung (going back to hometown of dad and mum side), spending the time with cousins and relatives, glorious Raya foods, fireworks and awesome TV shows. And not forgotten the euphoria feel of getting duit Raya. But year by year, when I start to grow up, the feel is slowly fade away, left me with the feel of assuming that Raya just like other ordinary holiday in my life.

This year marks my first Raya celebration away from family, abroad. To think it will be the same feeling like previous years, I don't dare to make any pre-assumptions yet. But I do miss my family, friends and somehow the sensation of Raya back in Malaysia. Some said you will appreciate thing more when you lost it. Which I feel so true.

"Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri buat mak, abah and adik di Kuala Lumpur. Kupohon kemaafan zahir dan batin andai ada tersilap kata mahupun perbuatan. Tidak lupa juga buat saudara-mara, teman-teman akrab, sahabat handai yang mengenali diri ini. Semoga Hari Raya tahun ini lebih berkat dan menjadikan diri kita insan yang lebih baik dan berkualiti daripada sebelumnya"
-Fid Anuar, Tokyo, Japan September 2009